Tuesday, July 19, 2011

50 Video Game Characters: 9

"Yes, we all work on the road crew. Our backs are killing us"



9. G-Men (Psychonauts)

Have you seen them? Lurking around the neighborhood? The road crew workers, the helicopter pilots, the assassins, even the grieving widows. All of them, not as they seem. What do they know? What are they looking for? What do they know about the Milkman?

In the watchman's twisted reality, these robotic secret agents lurk everywhere in a seemingly idyllic neighborhood. Seizing and interrogating anyone who walks into their vicinity, it would take only the strongest Psychonaut agent to infiltrate their group. That and a well-timed prop.

The G-Men take control of Boyd's mind searching every nook and cranny for the mysterious Milkman who is the key to something, clearly. Do not trust them, do not trust the Rainbow Squirts, do not even trust yourself.

In this neighborhood, trust is a lie.

Best moment: Practically any time they open their mouths, making generic observations of the personalities they are pretending to be.

50 Video Game Characters: 10

"Groovy!"



10. Earthworm Jim (Earthworm Jim)

Once an ordinary earthworm living in the southern United States, Jim's life changed when intergalactic bounty hunter Psy-Crow accidentally lost an ultra-high-tech-indestructible-super-space-cyber-suit that landed in Jim's area. Fleeing a flock of hungry birds, he sought refuge in the closest hiding place he could find: the suit. The powerful atomic particles of the super suit caused Jim to grow and evolve at an alarming rate and thus intergalactic space hero Jim was born.

It's hard not to appreciate Jim for what he is at face value. He's extremely silly and that's how he was designed. I'm not going to go in great detail about why Earthworm Jim is, because he's one of those characters you see and immediately enjoy. It's a worm in a space suit with a big raygun. What more do you want?

Best moment: His transformation into Blind Sally the cave salamander in the bizarre and beautiful Villi People level of Earthworm Jim 2. Basically I could just put "Villi People" and everyone who played the game would understand.

50 Video Game Characters: 11

"I've learned something...I'm not living unless I'm in battle"



11. Big Boss/Naked Snake (Metal Gear)

A young ex-Green Beret by the name of John, codenamed "Naked Snake," is tasked with extracting defecting Soviet scientist Nikolai Sokolov. Later on, he betrays his clone son by trying to kill him with a Metal Gear. Then he hugs him when they're both old, and then he dies.

Oh yeah, some stuff happened in between that was sort of important. As important as Solid Snake is to the Metal Gear universe, Naked Snake is probably even more so. He starts as our mentor Big Boss in the original Metal Gear game before he reveals Outer Heaven was his idea to begin with, so soldiers always have a place to fight, a Militaires Sans Frontieres, if you will. Snake is forced to kill his traitorous mentor. Then he comes back a second time and he has to be killed again. Then he reappeared in Metal Gear Solid 4, still alive. The man is practically unkillable.

But hey flashback to 1964 and Big Boss is just Naked Snake, being forced to do the same thing his son did: kill his mentor. On Operation: Snake Eater, he's betrayed by the Boss and is charged with finding and killing her. By the time the deed is done, he's got a new title and has lost an eye. Over the course of a couple more games, Big Boss creates an army and forms what would become Outer Heaven. Somewhere down the line, he loses a screw and goes overboard with it.

Or does he? Turns out, he was forming an army and Metal Gearing up to stage a coup against his former boss, Major Zero, who he formed the Patriots with. In the end, he was just sacrificing himself as a scapegoat to stop a dangerous power.

And we shot him in the face with rockets.

Best moment: His heartbreaking salute to the grave of an unknown patriot.